When Steve Bannon Leaves the Room

Donald Trump, McMaster, generals

US President Donald Trump shakes hands with H.R. McMaster (L) as his national security adviser at his Mar-a-Lago resort in Palm Beach, Florida, on February 20, 2017. / AFP / NICHOLAS KAMM (Photo credit should read NICHOLAS KAMM/AFP/Getty Images)

“I want to pardon that Sheriff. I’m not kidding. That son of a bitch judge had it in for my friend. So the Hell with him. I’m going to pardon him. I can do that right.”

“You can Mr. President. But to weather that storm you have to clear the decks. Look Presidential. And nothing looks more Presidential than committing a few thousand of our soldiers to let Afghanistan be Afghanistan.” said a General.

“But that is lame. Go big or, better still, go home. I said that. The people loved it. Every deplorable knows no one wins Afghanistan and we’re all about winning.”

“Yes Sir!” said Kelly snapping to attention. “And we’re going to win. Win bigly. Because no one has ever had the commitment to winning in the Stan that you do, Sir.”

“Great. We’ll be great and we’ll make Afghanistan great again. Just like the US of A. Just like that. But we do the pardon for my buddy.”

“We do Sir.” said another General. “But we have, as the expression goes, a person of colour in the woodpile.”

“We do? Well, let’s nuke that woodpile. I hate disloyalty. Don’t much like the sort of people who hang around in woodpiles. But won’t they call me a racist? I mean, you told me that once we hired a person of colour there was just no way to say “You’re Fired.””

“Good news, Sir. He’s not actually a POC, he’s an anti-Islam, British Hungarian American. You can fire him anytime. He’s a friend of Bannon’s and Flynn thought he was a good guy.” said a General.

“Hungarian? Sad…My first wife was Hungarian.”

“Czech actually, Sir.” said a Colonel bucking for a promotion.

“Same fucking thing. Nasty bunch. Cost a lot of money that divorce. And then Marla. Wasted a lot of money there but how did this guy get into the woodpile in the first place?”

“Bannon.” said two Generals and a Colonel.

“He told you Gorka was a smart guy. You believed him and now look what he’s done. He basically said your Afghanistan strategy was idiotic. He had to go.” said a General. “But now that he has you can pardon that Sheriff  guy.”

“Great. That will be huuuuuge”

“It will, Sir.” said a General, “Unless I miss my bet, it will be bigger than Charlottesville. Too bad about the hurricane. Steps on the message a bit.”

“Hurricane, Smeriscane, Texas had it coming. You just watch. I’ll handle the hurricane.  Sure, the hurricane is coming in like Merryweather, (which is pretty funny ok), but I’ll hit it like McGregor. You guys got any money on that fight? Vegas is going to get pasted. I am so pissed that the Secret Service won’t let me sit ringside.”

Two Generals and a Colonel snap to attention.

“Yes Sir. Pardon papers will be on your desk in ten minutes. We already have the Gorka resignation. Troops out to the Stan next week. Sir!”

“And, Mr. President, I have a hundred bucks that says McGregor doesn’t land a punch. Not one.” said the very ambitious Colonel.

“Done.”

POTUS wandered back to the Family Residence secure in the knowledge that the Colonel had never heard of “clients golf”. He looked like an excellent candidate to run a firebase in…well, some God forsaken place in Afghanistan.

 

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9 thoughts on “When Steve Bannon Leaves the Room

  1. Terry Rudden says:

    The man cannot manage, lead, or govern.

  2. Dwayne says:

    From where I sit he looks like he is doing a better job than Obama. Opinions will vary, but history will tell in the end. Considering the constant media attack it is amazing that Trump has been able to get anything done, and yet there he is, governing, leading, and managing the USA.

    I have yet to see Trump bow to any foreign leader. That beats the hell out of the grovelmeister Obama any day.

    http://www.cnn.com/2017/08/07/politics/trump-fact-check-tweet/index.html

    • Terry Rudden says:

      Trump supporters certainly have fascinating criteria for evaluating ‘success”. Yours is ‘not bowing’. Jay’s is ‘making lefty heads explode’. Now, these are not indices by which most adult analysts would assess a presidency, but I guess if your starting point for the evaluation is “Trump is Awesome”, you’re limited in the number of indicators you can track.

      • derek says:

        So Terry takes time off throwing urine at some cop to enlighten us.

        How many weeks long media frenzies has Trump survived?

        Last week we saw the classic racist accusation frenzy. Trump pushed back hard, and a week later we find his take on the situation was closer to reality than the narrative that was pushed. The Republicans dove under the furniture. I suspect some time in their home districts being reminded that no one outside the beltway pays the slightest bit of attention to the Washington Post and New York Times, and some of them will follow his leadership and show some fortitude.

        What he is doing is disarming the despicable Democrat slander machine.

        Trump has survived. This has been the closest to a coup d’etat that I have ever seen. I think there was something similar in Australia a couple decades ago, successful that time. They have failed to kill the king.

        The complexion of the House and Senate will change next fall, and if the Democrats keep doing what they are doing now it will be another slap across their heads with a 2×4. Democrats now equal the incontinent Antifa in the minds of voters.

        The Chinese are getting squeezed over their tactic of having North Korea humiliate the US. I think they will blink and are seriously figuring out a way to save face on this.

        The beltway will have a conniption a week, the Democrat Youth will continue in their incontinence. The KKK era laws against wearing masks will be dusted off to clean up the latest Democrat enforcement arm. Immigration will continue to be very slow. Demand for workers will improve the mood of the country.

        The security agencies who have humiliated themselves by acting as a political arm of the Democrat party will either be mucked out or muck themselves out. The ship collisions are giving very good reasons to rid the Pentagon of the Social Engineers.

        The economy will trundle along, doing well enough that the Fed can get out of the price fixing business.

        And Hillary isn’t president. She now is free to write books that no one reads except to make fun of.

      • Dwayne says:

        And here I give you a CNN link, and somehow that isn’t “success”? Did you even read the article? I expect no. CNN is no fan, and yet can find it hard to refute Trump’s claims, hard as they try.

        Enjoy your hate, the bile must taste great.

  3. Terry Rudden says:

    Derek, I’m not sure who you’re talking to, but I’m sure the urine thrower in question will respond to your little “And THEN he’s gonna…” fantasy.

  4. Terry Rudden says:

    Sorry, Dwayne. That link wasn’t an evaluation of Trump’s success: it was a partial debunking of a Trump-generated brag-list of his achievements. That’s not how evaluation works. A better approach would be to look at what Trump promised to achieve by this time, and then assess that.

    • Fred from BC says:

      What (little) he has achieved so far has been understandable, given the fact that 95% of the news media, 99% of Hollywood and tens of millions of liberals vowed to oppose and undermine him even before he took office. Worse than that are the members of the Republican Party who feel the same and take every opportunity to sabotage him where possible.

      • Terry Rudden says:

        Fred, the opposition Trump is encountering from his party, from Democrats, from media, and from the public at large was (a) predicted by his rivals and critics from the moment he declared his candidacy, (b) richly deserved in light of his appalling performance and complete lack of political skill,experience or aptitude. He campaigned on constitutional, legal or political impossibilities; please don’t feign astonishment when the guy who promised to teach your cat to fly now complains that gravity and the laws of physics are getting in the way.

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