The Director: OK, McMullian. I know you are fairly new but, son, we’ve got a hot one for you.
McMullian: Yes Sir!
The Director: 35 or 36 years ago a seventeen-year-old boy is alleged to have grabbed a 15-year-old girl and thrown her on a bed. He is alleged to have tried to make out with her and he is alleged to have sexually assaulted her.
McMullian: Do we have the police report, Sir?
The Director: No.
McMullian: Witnesses?
The Director: Four, or maybe five. Not sure on that Agent.
McMullian: They were in the room?
The Director: Well she says one of them was and he “jumped on them” which let her escape.
McMullian: And where did this happen?
The Director: We don’t know.
McMullian: No problem…When?
The Director: We don’t know.
McMullian: Were the witnesses under oath?
The Director: Yup.
McMullian: So they remembered what happened?
The Director: Not exactly. They don’t remember any party at all.
McMullian: OK, so I’m to investigate a sexual assault which might have happened thirty-five or six years ago at an unknown location on an unknown date.
The Director: That’s right. And I need your report on my desk in 72 hours.
McMullian: Yes Sir.
The Director: And while you are at it McMullian, there is also an open case on a report of an incidence of unicorn farting in Maryland at roughly the same time. See what you can pick up.
McMullian: I’m on it, Sir.
The Director: POTUS want’s updates on the investigation. This could make your career.
McMullian: Does POTUS know there are no such things as unicorns?
The Director: I doubt it. But get’er done. Your country is depending on you.
McMullian: Yes Sir.
Jay Currie 